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Thursday, June 21, 2012

An Anniversary

One year ago today, my heart was breaking.  Because of a mistake with the AC in my rabbitry, I walked in to find a horror that I still can't talk about without tears.  The biggest tragedy was losing Tryon.

It's hard for me to believe it has been a year.  The pain is fresh, like it happened only a week ago.  I've had friends tease me that they believed I loved Tryon more than my husband- and while that's not quite true, I have never bonded with an animal the way I did with him.

To be honest, a year ago I didn't think I'd still be in rabbits.  Actually, I had my sell out list drawn up. I privately posted on facebook a sell out announcement (that no one could see) to see how that would make me feel. I sold animals I should have kept because I found it hard to care.  It was a punch to the gut every time I walked in to the barn to feed and water the rabbits.  I stood in the driveway and cried because I couldn't stand the thought of going to a show, even after we had entered and loaded the car with rabbits.  I ended up letting Tim talk me in to going and Keep's Panda gave me a Reserve in Show.

Slowly, I started to heal.  I say slowly because I'm still healing.  I somehow bonded with Keep's Tribute- named after his father, the last Tryon son ever to be born.  He started out as a touch-me-not, but I think somehow he knew I needed him.

I stayed in rabbits, though I have considerably cut down the number of the herd and I've hit goals I never thought I would acheive- notably BOSG at Convention last year.

Yet through it all, I can't help but think of Tryon and Cupid- of the 11 babies that passed away.  The hope for the future of the rabbitry.  I think I'll never reach the enjoyment of the hobby I had before June 21, 2011. It changed everything for me.

The one bright spot in the month following "the Incident" was Keep's Fiona, who has made a miraculous recovery.  Not only has she shown again, which I never dreamed would happen, she has successfully kindled- only once, but it was still a success.  She fought to live like I have never seen a rabbit fight before- she too knew I needed her.

I needed my friends too.  Through the weeks and months after this, so many of you have continued to encourage me. Joni presented me with a beautiful picture frame that sports an engraved plate- Keep's Tryon, 26 legs, Forever in our hearts.  It sits on the mantle with our family pictures.  I can't go out the door to the rabbitry without seeing him.  Strangers have sent me the most beautiful messages of sympathy and encouragement.  Another friend, Michelle, purchased a new AC for the barn- a bigger, better unit- an amazing gesture because we had only recently met at that point.

So in the end- thank you all.  If you are reading this, you are probably one of the reasons Keep's Rabbitry is still here.

-Kristen

5 comments:

EmbraceSpectrum said...

I'm sorry you suffered such a big loss. Glad you're healing.

April said...

**HUGS**

Keep said...

Thanks you two.

LilBitFarms said...

Love you Keep!

Briana said...

I even wanted to cry when it happened. I'm glad you stayed in rabbits! And I'm glad you're still healing. You rock Keep!